A Self Portrait

Lately I've been thinking a lot about who I am... about who other people say I am, about who I say I am, about who God says I am. I'm learning to give up the need to justify myself, to fight to defend myself. I'm learning to hand that need over to God, to let Him defend me. And I pray daily that He does, that He will fight for me so I don't have to. And sometimes that means clenching my fists and camping my mouth shut so that I don't yell out in defence, so I don't pull open my computer and write the e-mail that I have every right to send, so that I don't speak badly about anyone, so that I don't do what has been done to me. There are days when I don't want to be the person God calls me to be, when I just want to do what I want, when I don't want to care what it does to anyone around me. I have to fight that battle daily, to hand over the selfish pieces of myself. Everyday I get to choose. I don't always choose well. Sometimes I choose poorly on purpose, sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. But I want to live inside God's will for my life, every single day. I want to be the woman He has called me to be, no matter what.

I am a girl.

I am gentle and kind.

I am a listener and a hearer.

I am a servant.

I am stubborn.

I am a dear friend.

I am seeking God's will for my life.

I do my best to be good to people, even when I don't want to.

I am intentional.

I am honest and truthful.

I try to forgive. Daily.

I have a sensitive heart.

I am compassionate.

I am creative.

I am patient.

I am strong and courageous.

Sometimes I'm angry.

I'm trying to have a spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I am a child of God.

I am not defined by anybody else.

I am, and always will be, me.

A visit from a friend

These pictures have been lost on my computer for the past couple months and finally reappeared today at the request of my mother. We had a fun visit from my mom's dear friend Ruth (who's known my mom since college and me since birth). As a baby I used to get propped up next to her son David) who is just a month older than me) on the couch. As toddlers we used to play in the kiddy pool and I would scold him, telling him not to put his diaper in the water or I'd "maybe be mad at you." The visits got less and less over the years, but this family has always been very special to me.

Spotlight on Maddy

A few of the best of Maddy from our shoot the other day...